What curious creatures, these human-types. Every morning, they start their days by using the bathroom indoors-how unsanitary. Next, I (Moses) observe as hey actually peel off their old skin and put new skin on. I really have no idea why they do this. Do they get dirty over night?
Getting dirty: that's another thing. Humans actually choose to take baths! Why anyone would choose to get in the shower is way beyond me.
Willingly tooth and hair brushing: Equally as perplexing.
Next is something I can totally understand: BREAKFAST! The only things I don't understand is why they eat such small portions, and why they don't like to share with us K-9 types.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Outside, Food, Sleep, Snack-GOOD MORNING, World!
The Boy dropped some cocoa puffs on the floor: milk and all. We cleaned the carpet, the cup, and the spoon.
I (Mrs. Jones) gottta' tell ya', as annoying as these little humans can be, they do provide a lot of snacking opportunities. One of our favorite sports involves the little humans.
Run-By-Sandwich Snatching: Quite often, the little humans wander about the house with a sandwich in hand. The best is peanut butter and jelly. *Drools* The trick now is to watch for the larger humans to look away, then make your approach. Quietly, quickly, run past the small human, turn your head slightly and snatch the sandwich with one gulp.
Be aware that the small humans tend to make an awful, high-pitched squealing sound, which I think is referred to as "crying." This will alert the larger humans. Occasionally, after yelling,"You STUPID DOG!" (which we just ignore: obviously it takes some brains and skill to pull his off), the humans will actually attempt to pry the half-eaten sandwich from your throat. This is more humorous than painful, as it is nearly impossible to retrieve a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich from the throat of a determined dog!
I (Mrs. Jones) gottta' tell ya', as annoying as these little humans can be, they do provide a lot of snacking opportunities. One of our favorite sports involves the little humans.
Run-By-Sandwich Snatching: Quite often, the little humans wander about the house with a sandwich in hand. The best is peanut butter and jelly. *Drools* The trick now is to watch for the larger humans to look away, then make your approach. Quietly, quickly, run past the small human, turn your head slightly and snatch the sandwich with one gulp.
Be aware that the small humans tend to make an awful, high-pitched squealing sound, which I think is referred to as "crying." This will alert the larger humans. Occasionally, after yelling,"You STUPID DOG!" (which we just ignore: obviously it takes some brains and skill to pull his off), the humans will actually attempt to pry the half-eaten sandwich from your throat. This is more humorous than painful, as it is nearly impossible to retrieve a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich from the throat of a determined dog!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Cleaning-Up
Today, we are restless. It has been a long winter and we have spent most of it indoors. During this time, we have tried to help our humans clean. (yes, the "yard candy" bit is part of this, but if they would scoop our yard more often, we wouldn't have to resort to such matters)
Chewing on delicious little plastic toys is the easiest way of picking up the house. Moses, in particular, likes the slightly softer plastic cats. He eats their head and feet.
Mrs. Jones prefers plush to plastic, but will clean the plastic if it is left out too long. Moses is extremely helpful in the kitchen, as well. He washes the counter-tops, the stove, and occasionally, the inside of the fridge. The humans are ALWAYS screaming at him and spraying him with the dreadful vinegar-water, and we simply cannot understand why, as they certainly haven't cleaned those areas lately!
Another thing we love to clean is the table. Little humans are known to leave bowls of half-eaten lunch on the big dining room platform. Moses is especially skilled at quietly sneaking a healthy portion without making any noise whatsoever. Mrs. Jones, though not as stealth-like, is able to actually get on the table and therefore taste more of the leftovers.
Our main human, the large female, is sick right now and can't really scream at us, so we are enjoying this advantage immensely. Nothing's really stopping us, and why should they-we are cleaning-up, and everyone can tell someone needs to do it!
Chewing on delicious little plastic toys is the easiest way of picking up the house. Moses, in particular, likes the slightly softer plastic cats. He eats their head and feet.
Mrs. Jones prefers plush to plastic, but will clean the plastic if it is left out too long. Moses is extremely helpful in the kitchen, as well. He washes the counter-tops, the stove, and occasionally, the inside of the fridge. The humans are ALWAYS screaming at him and spraying him with the dreadful vinegar-water, and we simply cannot understand why, as they certainly haven't cleaned those areas lately!
Another thing we love to clean is the table. Little humans are known to leave bowls of half-eaten lunch on the big dining room platform. Moses is especially skilled at quietly sneaking a healthy portion without making any noise whatsoever. Mrs. Jones, though not as stealth-like, is able to actually get on the table and therefore taste more of the leftovers.
Our main human, the large female, is sick right now and can't really scream at us, so we are enjoying this advantage immensely. Nothing's really stopping us, and why should they-we are cleaning-up, and everyone can tell someone needs to do it!
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